THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
|GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out
there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their
tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about
your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that
Chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
It was a historical inevitability.
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
I have just released eChicken 2009, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook
- and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken, please?
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was
I missed one?
THE FREEMAN INSTITUTE
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