Phone conversations last 30 seconds
You know useful stuff about tanks and airplanes
A 5-day vacation requires only one suitcase
Bathroom lines are 80% shorter
You can open all your own jars
Old friends don't give you grief if you've lost or gained weight
When clicking through the channels you don't have to stop on every shot of someone crying
You can go to the bathroom alone
You can leave a hotel room bed unmade
The garage is all yours
The remote is yours and yours alone
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment"
You never have to clean the toilet
You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
Wedding plans take care of themselves
If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be your friend
Your underwear costs are really cheap a 3-pack for maybe 7 bucks
None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry
Chocolate is just another snack
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat
Three words: Flowers fix everything!
Pair of shoes is more than enough
You can say anything and not worry about what people think
Car mechanics tell you the truth
You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut
Gray hair and wrinkles add character
Wedding dress $2000, Tux rental $100
You don't care if someone is talking behind your back
You don't pass on the dessert and then mooch off someone else's
If you don't call your buddy when you said you would, he won't tell your friends you've changed
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
You can watch a game in silence for hours without your buddy thinking, "He must be mad at me"
One mood, all the time.
-- B O N U S --
A friend of mine told me about this new Husband Shopping Center where a
woman could go to choose from among many men for her husband.
Courtesy of The Freeman Institute