Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark,
17-inch paper, 99 copies.
Specify that your drive through order is "to go."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to
keep them tuned up."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information on scientific papers and "cc" them to your
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so all the people are green, and insist to others that you
"like it that way."
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant and simply eat their complimentary mints by the
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and re-route whole streets.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?"
"What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin.
When nearly done, announce, "No wait, I messed it up" and repeat.