SAY and DO
THE DARNDEST THINGS!
One Sunday in a midwest city a young child was "acting up" during the morning
worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but
were losing the battle. Finally the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly
up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer the little one
called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold." At this, dad
interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, 'How come you called God, "Harold?"
The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in
church. You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy
And this particular four-year-old prayed: "And forgive us our trash baskets as we
forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back
pews. Gary's mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence, and after church, asked:
"Gary, whatever made you do such a thing?" Gary answered soberly: "I asked
God to teach me to whistle... And He just then did!"
One night Mike's parents overheard this prayer. "Now I lay me down to rest, and hope
to pass tomorrow's test, if I should die before wake, that's one less test I have to
A five-year-old said grace at family dinner one night. "Dear God, thank you for these
pancakes." When he concluded, his parents asked him why he thanked God for pancakes
when they were having chicken. He smiled and said, "I thought I'd see if He was
paying attention tonight,"
A little boy's prayer. "Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my
sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If
anything happens to you, we're gonna be in a really big mess,"
A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy: "So your mother says your prayers for
you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied,
"Thank God he's in bed!"
A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old
daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" I wouldn't know what to
say," the little girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say, " the
mother said. The little girl bowed her head and said, "Dear Lord, why on earth did I
invite all these people to dinner?"
Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and
informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine,"
said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help
you." "Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny. "I
asked Him to help you put up with me."
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if You can't make me a better boy, don't
worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am.
to see some more funny stuff?
With People Who Drive You Crazy!"®
1103 Burkhardt Lane, Severn, Maryland 21144
TEL 410-729-7800 FAX 410-729-0353
Courtesy of The Freeman Institute