THAT SHOULD BE ON BUTTONS
Bonus -- 25 Sayings That Should Be On Women's T-Shirts
1. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
2. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
3. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
4. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
5. Do I look like a freakin' people person?
6. This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
7. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
8. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
9. You! Off my planet!
10. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
11. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
12. Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
13. I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
14. Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way!
15. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.
16. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
17. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
18. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
19. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
20. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
21. Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
22. Better living through denial.
23. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
24. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
25. Adult child of alien invaders.
26. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
27. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
28. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
29. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
30. Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
31. Back off! You're standing in my aura.
32. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
33. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
34. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
35. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
36. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
37. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
38. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
39. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
40. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
41. I plead contemporary insanity.
42. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
43. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
44. Meandering to a different drummer.
45. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
25 Sayings that Should be on Women's
1. So many men, so few who can afford me.
2. God made us sisters; Prozac makes us friends.
3. If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.
4. At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all...I just can't remember it all.
5. My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
6. Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.
7. Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.
8. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
9. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
10. Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
11. It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
12. I'm out of estrogen-and I have a gun.
13. Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?
14. Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
15. I hate everybody...and you're next.
16. And your point is...?
17. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
18. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
19. Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.
20. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
21. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
22. All stressed out and no one to choke.
23. I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
24. How can I miss you if you won't go away?
25. Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
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With People Who Drive You Crazy!"®
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Courtesy of The Freeman Institute